Return to Blogger

Appalling behavior, I know. I promise, promise, promise and don't deliver. I guess that must fall under the heading of "Blog Tease." In actual fact, I've had time to blog. There were days left wide open when I could have sat down and blogged for hours on end but I didn't. I can't explain why, I'm not even sure why. But I'm still around and am again invigorated by the idea of Blogger. My new found enthusiasm is partly due to some of my housemates' entertaining and excellent posts that I could never begin to compete with if I tried, and partly due to an encounter this morning at my yoga studio that reassured me that, even if my sister doesn't read my blog, there are some people who still do. I'll briefly explain... Some guy named PJ (CJ??) was researching Vietnam and TEFL International and kept on coming across my blog and decided I probably had something to say. After a 2 minute conversation he managed to put 2 and 2 together and thanked me for my insight and information regarding the ESL teacher life out here.

So...

An enormous amount has happened over the last month. Reunions with friends, families, past lives, past experiences, past homes. And yet everything was so familiar, so comfortable, so one year ago wonderful. I left Saigon and S.E.A in general very apprehensive of what I would encounter in New York, how I would feel being around so much of what I once loved. I was curious as to how I would feel. Would I return and immediately loathe my surroundings, the energy of the Western world, the pop culture hype? Would I return and be recharged and drawn in by the dynamic and throbbing city that I once called my home? When it came down to it, the anticipation fell flat on its face as I arrived in a place that I loved and still do love but that I have left for a foreign, exotic and challenging lifestyle in Vietnam. It felt natural to be back, it felt natural to leave but I loved every moment of it and was enthralled to be in New York.

The first change I noticed was the streets. While the streets of Vietnam are hazardous and raw, crazy and confused, chaotic and alive, the streets of New York seemed tame and lifeless by comparison. Cars (cars!!) waited patiently for lights to change, for pedestrians to cross, for order to unfold. Pedestrians stuck to their side of the road, no vehicles ventured onto the sidewalks. Heavenly, quiet, controlled order seemed to be the name of the day. (to you New Yorkers who are currently raising loud objections to the peace of the NY streets, come to Saigon and then we'll engage in talks)

It was only once I ventured inside to the restaurants, clubs and bars that I realized where New York is overwhelming. Thousands, millions of intelligent, good looking and plugged in internationalites leave the streets of New York and enter the public spaces where commotion reigns. Ideas, thoughts, theories, philosophies, plans, desires, dreams and feelings are spewed out onto tabletops, over the music, in the hallways, and they land in crevices of your mind, brain and mouth that you never imagined existed. Leaving a bar or restaurant in the city, one feels drained and overworked, challenged and invigorated by pure energy. Fine, I may be overexaggerating right now but it overwhelmed me when I first arrived. Having lived in a country where I can not communicate with 99% of the population, being in a place where everyone is enslaved by English was quite an experience.

I spent over 2 weeks in the city itself, 2 of the weeks in northern Wisconsin, 1 day in Southwestern Ohio and 2 full days in upstate New York. It was 12 flights, over 100 hours and lots of pages of reading worth of travel. It was wonderful to be with my loved ones, meet Mike's loved ones and add some more to the list.

Most of what I walked away from New York with was perspective. I feel like I figured out more of exactly what I'm doing out here. I realized I'm not a teacher by profession but that I'm young and what I'm learning from my current career is more than worth it's weight in gold. I realized that I do want to penetrate "the real world" at some point but that I'm more than content to live away from everything real for the time being. I realized how much I love and treasure my family and friends and that I miss them dearly while I'm away but that they'll always remain part of my life, and what's more important is to be doggedly pursuing my own dreams and life. By doing this, I can more fully contribute to the lives of those around me.

And now I've returned, happy to be back in Saigon, with familiar faces and in a place I know I will only call home for a few more months. My life is comfortable and enjoyable and challenging and it's great to be living something many people call dreams.

As I told my housemates in an email a few days before returning, "I'm confident and proud of all of our lives and how weird they are compared to everyone else's. The looks and questions and surprise and admiration that I've encountered
about what we're doing has assured me that if anything, we're living an adventure and that's what it should be all about."